Wrap Around

A week with young children

2011-06-24T22:54:00.000-07:00

I am a middle school and high school teacher. I work with kids ages 11 through 18... or so.

I am now working with nearly two dozen kids ages 5-10 and BOY is that different. I've come home absolutely exhausted. Challenges I get to deal with is crying because someone tripped them, whining about when snack is, and asking if it's time to go home. Wait, high schoolers do that last one too.

That being said this has been a huge adjustment week for me. The first day, I was afraid I wasn't going to enjoy this job after all. However, as week has gone by, I've adjusted. Despite the fact that I've managed to (mostly) loose my voice due to talking over them and attempting to get their attention (I've had to be very strict and a little yell-y), the buggers are growing on me, and I'm having a good time. I'm even looking forward to next week. This could be a really refreshing job for me after all.

Sunday Scribblings: What's Next

2011-06-13T14:33:00.000-07:00

This prompt comes at a rather apropos time. Much like the hanged man, Luke and I are a bit stuck at what feels like a precipice.

I've abandoned this blog a bit in light of life throwing things in the way.

1. Luke, my husband has graduated with his Business degree and failed to find employment.

2. I have had to step up as Seneschal (president) of the local SCA group while our real president is Princess.

3. I've done my first play in years, Follies, with the VLT and costume designed for another play, Three Days of Rain, also at the VLT.

4. My best friend has moved to a town about an hour away to be closer to her boyfriend.

5. I have become an Arbonne consultant, and using their products, have been dieting since April. I've lost about 12 pounds.

6. I have also begun doing Bikram Yoga two times a week, I'd do it more if I could afford it.

7. Our room mate, who is awesome, has found a job in Montana, which means we need to find a new room mate.

8. I picked up a part time teaching job for this spring, and a full time (but low pay) camp coordinator position for the summer.

9. Luke's mom's cancer is back, with a vengeance. She fell and broke her hip this past weekend, and they are now talking about extension of life vs quality of life.

The resulting weight that I feel is summed up in the thought that wouldn't stop circling my brain at yoga this morning. "My children will likely never know one of their grandmothers."

I never knew one of my grandfathers, but grandfathers tend to be a little standoffish. They're working or reading or something else. It's grandmothers who play with the grandkids, or tell them stories, or make them lunch.

I have innumerable fond memories, especially from my paternal grandmother and grandfather about going to their house, and their playroom, and their play house, the weeping willow, the deck, the davenport, the huge windows and the antique tea set. I so easily can see my Mother in Law doing that with my children. They'd been talking about kicking out some of the renters in their basements to make guest rooms for family coming to visit. And now? I'm hoping she will be able to attend her daughter's wedding in August. I am fighting the urge to start trying to have a baby now hoping that perhaps she could meet one of her grandchildren. I am especially heart broken about this because both of our parents have been so good about not pushing the issue, not badgering us about kids, about letting us choose our own time to have children.

If my mother in law doesn't live to meet my children, I'm sure that my father-in-law and my parents will more then satisfy the grand parent needs, and my children will likely be blessed to have great-grandparents present in their lives, at least at first. But it is this thought that makes me the most sad, considering my mother in law's illness, and this thought which makes me afraid to wonder what is next.

Stinger

2010-12-09T22:02:00.000-08:00

Another stealth tasty drink! The Stinger in my opinion is a non-sensical name. Apparently it's an upper crust type drink that was big with "flyboys back in the Big One". It is a pretty tasty drink, especially considering it's 100% booze (not terribly alcoholic booze...but still)

2 oz. brandy
3/4 oz. white creme de menthe

Mix in cocktail shaker with cracked ice and strain into a chilled cocktail glass or on the rocks in an old fashioned glass.

I.... honestly don't have a lot more to say besides that I like the drink, and would totally drink it again.

Last Wedding Post-Epic Picture Post

2010-11-16T01:36:00.000-08:00

We finally got our pro-pics in, so I can do my post-wedding post!

Our wedding was July 31st, 2010 at the Long Tom Grange outside Junction City OR.

It was a semi-formal (Pacific Northwest Summer Formal, if such a thing exists?) with a loose nature/woodsy theme.

We had about 200 guests in attendance when all was said and done.

All in all the wedding went off swimingly, we had a few minor hitches:
*My husband forgot to get his pants hemmed before the wedding so our mothers were frantic trying to find needle and thread to tack them up
*I forgot my flat iron at home, and had to borrow one of my bridesmaids, generally I can flat iron and then curl my hair and it workes great, but using a different flat iron didn't work out so well so my curls fell flat. I still think the hair ended up looking ok, though not quite what I was going for.
*There was a longer break between the appetizers and dinner for some reason. Still not sure why, if there was a problem, or if it was a miscommunication, but only the people who knew the schedule ahead of time noticed, so it wasn't a big deal.

Other then that, I couldn't have asked for a better wedding. It ran like clockwork, and seemed be a lot of fun for everyone.

Invitations:

WE LOVED our invitations and received a lot of compliments on them for their creativity and attractiveness. Kristin from Twin Raven's Press was fabulous to work with, I highly recommend her. A+

Caterer-
Cornucopia Catering Company! They're a delicious bar and restaurant in our town.

Our Menu:
Appetizers:
*Baked Brie with Apples and Pears
*Fruit Basket/s with yogurt lime dipping sauce
Entrees:
*High Pasta – Spinach, artichoke hearts, tomatoes, roasted garlic, browned butter, parmesan cheese & hazelnut garnish.
*Chicken Pagonia – chicken breasts, fresh apples, portabello mushrooms,
tarragon, and shallots.
Sides:
*Gourmet Greens Salad w/ Edible Flower Garnish – Fresh greens accompanied by cucumber rounds, tomatoes, red onion and spinach. Served with two of our homemade dressings and homemade croutons.
*Green Bean Almondine – fresh and local green beans, sautéed to perfection in butter and spices, topped with toasted almonds.
Desert:
*Fruit Tarts—homemade fruit tarts from our Bakers...the freshest fruits... Homemade crust

We had fabulous service for an excellent price, the staff was friendly, helpful, and I can't say enough good things about them. The only hicough was that there was this strange long break between the apetizer and the meal, but that may have been due to a miscommunication of some sort. Those who didn't know the schedule, hardly noticed, and it was only a problem because it meant that it was starting to get dark before we finished the toasts and we didn't have ton of lighting. Overall though, really happy. I will totally go with these caterers again in the future. A

We served cupcakes (home made by various family members and friends) as our wedding cake.

We served glasses of Three Buck Chuck Cabernet Sauvignon coupled with Sparkling Cider for toasting and to drink with dinner.

This seemed to go over great, people (as far as I could tell) enjoyed the wine, and if they minded that it was cheap wine, they kept it to themselves.

The head table had Sweet Life's Chocolate Orgasm Cake [Orange Scented Chocolate cake filled with chocolate mousse and bavarian cream, topped with blood-orange-infused white chocolate butter cream and finished with ganache].

OMFG this was an amazing cake. It was so rich we barely were able to eat our slices. We had lots of extra which we ate most of and pawned off the rest before we took off on our honeymoon. The cake was amazing, a great value, beautiful and ready on time. A+

I carried a wildflower bouquet that I pick up from the local farmers market the morning of the wedding. This went amazingly. I arrived at the market right when the stalls were setting up so I told the man making my bouquet which flowers from his selection I preferred. I bought three bouquets at $5 each. One for me, and two that I broke apart and spread on the arbor/alter. This was an AWESOME idea, in my opinion.

The ceremony music is by my harper friend Noah Brenner. This was gorgeous and so pefect. Noah was of course amazing! :) A+

The reception music is DJ'd by my friend Steven Gott and his new DJ business Absolutely Entertaining. This also went off fabulously. He played a great mix of music and kept folks dancing (using those rented dance floors thank goodness!) all the way until we took off from the reception. His (brand new) equipment went great and in general I couldn't have been happier with the music. A+

Now for more pictures! Our photography was by Michael Brinkerhoff and Sean Hoffman of Start Your Forever Photography. Michael is an old theater friend of mine and I've always loved his photos of theater productions I've been in and head shots he's done. I was not disappointed by his wedding shots either. I was a bit of an idiot and wore comfortable, but not entirely flattering clothes to get ready in, but that's my own damn fault.

All our tables had centerpieces that were themed to something that was a part of our lives, past, present or future. Playmobil were some of my favorite toys.
Getting ready

Yup.
To be honest, I was getting sick of having pictures snapped while I was doing my hair, I thought this might disuade him. I was wrong.

I just love this because of how my BM's eyes came out!

Groom with NO PANTS!

Bridesmaids & me

Groomsmen & husband

Wedding party

The whole family, my grandparents, parents, brother, us, his parents, sister and grandmother.

Noah, my harper.

Looking towards the guests, from the alter

Groom and Minister (who was a childhood friend of groom), in case you couldn't tell ;)

Me and my dad (and his snazzy outfit, I loved what he ended up picking to wear, my dad's always had awesome and eclectic fashion taste!)

MOST AWKWARD WEDDING PICTURE EVER!!!!
I have no idea why we made stupid faces... we didn't get hardly any good 'presenting' pictures cuz we were making stupid faces in all of them.

We sort of rushed through cutting the cake since it was starting to get dark REALLY quick.

This picture is just SO me and my Gramma.

First Dance

Luke and his mother dancing.

Me and my dad

These kids had a blast dancing all night long, we ended up with so many pictures of them because they were just so much fun!

I HAD to put my hair up, it's nothing fancy but it kept it out of my way.

Our 'puzzle' themed table was a big hit! They stole the fire from the fire table in order to be able to see better!

WOOO!

There are 650 pro pics in all, it was hard to choose, I'll admit. If you're liking what you see, you can see all the pictures at www.startyourforever.com/langstraat/

Again if you're in Oregon and looking for a photographer, these guys were awesome, tell them Ruth sent you :)

Thanks for looking guys, some day I'll show a few of my 2000 plus honeymoon pictures? Maybe? Lol.

I'm glad to be married, the wedding was perfect (and just imperfect enough to feel REAL) and I'm happy to be married!

Old Fashioned

2010-11-15T21:54:00.001-08:00

I'm told that this drink is a favorite of my friend Jessi's. I can't say I agree. Again, don't like whiskey. Although, somehow its a little better for me when it's not mixed.

Tonight is a bit special, my friend Sarah is here celebrating her birthday, as it's a Monday night, it's nothing to exciting, but I figured we could hit two birds with one stone and try a drink, both blogging and celebrating.

We substituted maraschino cherry syrup for the splash of simple syrup. Somehow, the bitters really takes the edge off the whiskey for me. This is much easier to drink then some of the other whiskey drink.

Sarah says she can't really taste anything but the whiskey. She prefers her whiskey with beer, and likes the malt taste, so the drink isn't ideal for her. As she drinks it down and gets closer to the cherry, she likes it a bit better.

2 oz. bourbon or blended whiskey
Splash of simple syrup
2 dashes bitters

Add ingredients to iced rocks glass and garnish with a cherry.

Perhaps I need to be a bit more brave and just drink my whiskeys straight up.

Everyone likes Candles, right?

2010-11-09T10:20:00.000-08:00

Friday, before we went to the coast, I went to a Partylite party at my cousin's house. (If you're not familiar, Partylite is one of those party sales companies where the product is sold from a consultant, via parties, to customers, much like tupperware, CAbi, passionparties etc.) I've used Partylite candles for years, I honestly can't remember how I first go exposed to it. Maybe a friend from work? I've hosted parties myself, gone to friends, worked off and on with several different consultants. The candles are excellent, the candle holders nice enough, the scents are amazing. It's fun, and it's nice to always have some candles on hand. The prices for the candles are reasonable, comprable to what you'd pay for any brand name candle, and you absolutely get your money's worth. The candle holders are hit or miss. Some are priced well, others over priced, some are attractive, some don't appeal to me. But what do you expect?

The reason I bring this up is because every time I go to one of these parties, at least for the last few years, the consultant picks me out as the person they think the can convince (I mean...would be good at...) being a consultant. I even nearly tried it out with Arbonne, mostly because the woman who approached me about it is someone I have a lot of respect for, and I do LOVE make up. Arbonne didn't work out for me. I wasn't very committed to it, I didn't jump in 100%, and the make up is more expensive then most of my friends could afford. Plus, after using the products myself, they didn't seem to be much better then anything else, so they had only their business practices (as far as how the make up was made) going for them.

Well, I spent a fair amount of Friday's party thinking "I could do so much better then this woman". Not that she was bad. She wasn't. But I could do better. And once again, I was the person that she honed in on when it came to the part of the party where she talks about being consultant. Usually I play along and brush it off. But this time it was different, for a few reasons.

Last time, I was in graduate school, aiming for a career where I was confidant I'd find work. I had goals, and a regular job. I was busy as hell, and I loved what I was doing. I was financially stable, even if I was relying on my parents and loans.

Things are different now. I have a Masters degree with no prospect of a full time job. I have tons of free time on my hands. I have no specific career oriented goals as I'm stuck with whatever opportunities arise. I live paycheck to paycheck, supporting my husband (more or less), and I'm STILL relying somewhat on my parents.

So this time, I really thought about it. And I asked real questions, and thought about what it would mean to me.

Basically - There is no start up cost for your display 'kit'. There is a recommendation/expectation that you find 6-10 parties to host the first month. That's the part I'm the most worried about, but after that, you can do as many or as few as you like. Take home pay is 25% of the profit on your shows. Most shows are about $400 they say, although I'm not 100% sure I believe that. There is opportunity for greater income should I decide to join their 'leadership' program, although at this point I don't anticipate that being something I'd be interested in.

So what's holding me back?

Well, I'm afraid that I don't know enough people who would want to host parties.
Luke is suspicious and somewhat dismissive of 'jobs' that aren't part of a formal company. He doesn't approve of busking, he's afraid that all consultant sales programs are pyramid schemes (although in one of his business classes they spent a class period on Partylite so he's actually supportive of their business model), and he's not into spending money.
When I mentioned I'd been to a Partylite party around Luke's parents, they were also dismissive.
I haven't talked to my parents yet, so I don't know what their thoughts would be.
I'm afraid I'll fail.

Reasons to do it?
I could use the money.
I could use the focus, something to be excited about and make goals about.
I could use the non-project/sewing/knitting/SCA stuff to do during the day when I'm just sitting at home on my ass.
It might be fun.

So, reactions? Advice? Thoughts? Has anyone done anything like this before? If I was a consultant, would you host a party?

(And if you think it's a bad idea, I especially want to hear your opinion!)

Rob Roy

2010-10-23T22:46:00.000-07:00

Yet another Scotch drink. This one I like ok. It certainly warms the stomach, a nice thing on a cold rainy October night like tonight. The bitters really come through in this drink. The sweet vermouth merely serves to sweeten the drink, I can hardly taste the vermouth flavor.

A classic 19th Century drink that can vary from sweet, through perfect and on into dry, our version is sweet.

I'm also very excited because we just inherited a few actual cocktail glasses (pictured) in which to serve these, rather then the little tumblers I was using before. Since I have the glass to use, we chose to mix with ice, and strain into the cocktail glass instead of serving it on the rocks. A truly authentic experience?

1 1/2 oz Scotch
3/4 oz Sweet Vermouth
Dash of bitters

Serve over ice in a rocks glass or shake with ice and strain into chilled cocktail glass garnish with a cherry.

For the record. Maraschino cherries are gross, and whoever invented them (who strangely enough is from my husbands home town, the nearby college town of Corvallis, OR) should be shot.

Name Change Trauma

2010-10-15T13:28:00.000-07:00

I agree with the general consensus that the world seems to have that a family should share a family name. It gives a sense of coherence and it sends a message to the rest of the world that the family is a unit. So, my family should have a family name, which we all share.

Within the context of our society and culture (being that I am not myself a famous person, or someone who has an established professional identity associated with a particular name) I also accept the premise that if my name is different then my husband’s, or my eventual children's, there might be assumptions about the status of our marriage, or whether the kids are 'my kids' (which is silly because actual maternity is such a small part of relationship with children that gives that sense of ownership and responsibility). It will be easier, in my life, if my last name is the same as my husband, I accept that.

This is where things get tough. I accept that I live in a largely paternal society that recognizes the 'man' as the 'leader', and for that reason, the woman in typical relationships gives up her old family name, and takes her husband's name, symbolizing her leaving the house of her father, and entering the house of her husband (yea, riiight).

In my particular state and county there are two 'default' name changes options when you get your marriage certificate. One is to simply remove the maiden name, and add the husband's last name. So, rather then be Ruth Elizabeth Ames, I would become Ruth Elizabeth Langstraat. The second option (we're so forward thinking here) is to hyphenate both names, so I would be Ruth Elizabeth Ames-Langstraat, or Langstraat-Ames.

I personally think hyphenated names are silly, cumbersome and confusing. I understand that some people like them, but what happens when Ms. Splonskowski-McDonald marries Mr. Milenowitch-Martinelli? Mr. & Mrs. Splonskowski-Martinelli-McDonald-Milenowitch? We break into choruses of bad children's songs the loop indefinitely.

I am also gratuitously, substantially and irrevocably attached to my maiden name. So what's a girl to do?

Because we were travelling internationally immediately after our nuptials, and didn't want to deal with it, we chose (with little advisement) to forgo my name change at the time, and deal with it later, when I could choose an option that better suited my needs. I finally settled on adding Ames as a middle name. This is a common and even old fashioned choice, as evidenced by my conservative friend's Catholic mother, who did the very same thing. So I would be Ruth Elizabeth Ames Langstraat. Simple, right?

There is trauma associated with the change of name. I don't know that I could have stomached giving Ames up completely, had Luke pressed the issue, I may have freaked out, called the whole thing off. Despite the fact that getting married doesn't change nearly enough as the Wedding Industrial Complex, or the romance films would have you thing, changing your name, and essentially deleting an aspect of your name (the ultimate symbol of our identity) is like deleting an aspect of that identity. And to be less philosophical about it, I've been Ruth Ames for 25 years and I rather like her! (My husband adds, he likes her too, but he also likes Ruth Langstraat).

It was with this social injustice (or perhaps that's too strong a word, social unfairness?), and anticipated trauma that I approached the Lane County Circuit Court on Wednesday with the purpose of changing my name.

Can I just say, I understand why lawyers and judges dress up so much? Short of wearing a power suit and heels, I don't think anything could have overcome the overwhelming feeling of sleazy-ness and criminal disapproval that I felt going into the courthouse, the security took longer then it does at our local airport, the direction was confusing, I had to take off my shoes, and despite the fact that everyone there was polite and respectful, I couldn't help but feel as if they suspected me of some crime. They wouldn't even let me take my knitting into the courthouse!

We approached the front desk, only to be informed that they didn't sell the forms here, I had to go to a stationary store a few blocks away and purchase them. A mere five minutes after the haranguing experience through security we were out and walking down the street. At this point the mere apprehension of the process had escalated to alternating fury, frustration, fear and grief. I was neither polite, nor calm, though the walk to the store helped, marginally.

A few minutes later, $12.50 poorer, we returned to the court house, went through the same security protocol (this time, since we were pro's we expected it to be quicker, but the line was longer so it took it's good sweet time). We headed to information again, which directed us to a series of windows with glass there, to protect the clerks. After the woman helped walk me through the forms and watched me sign them, and took $150 of our dollars, we were informed that the forms need to be posted for 15 days, in case anyone objected. Then I could return to attend my hearing at 8:30 in the morning on a Friday, yes missing potential work, to verify that all was well, and then after paying yet another fee, perhaps then I could have my new name.

Talk about making me feel like a criminal for bucking the trend. I mean I wasn't changing my name to Captain Awesome (yes, that was an actual posting on the board!), or Sunshine Starfish, or Pearly Gates or Adolf Hitler or something weird, offensive or outlandish, I just want to keep my identity as part of my name! And yet, here that process was as effectively criminalized as if they'd put me in handcuffs.

Ok, I may be exaggerating on that one, but an already traumatic experience of letting go of an aspect of my identity was exacerbated into panic, and anger by a difficult and expensive process (not helped by the fact that the clerk thought I was a divorcee for some reason! "No," I said, "I'm going the other direction!")

After we were finished, and headed off to run other errands, a bit of psychological reverie also revealed to me that my husband’s excitement over my name change had also made things worse. He was so excited for us to share a name that he didn't realize that some of his excitement was translated into pressure from my perspective.

When all is said in done, it really isn't a big deal. And really, it should be difficult to change your name, the government has valid reasons to keep track of those things, and valid reasons to have those things reviewed by a judge, but the trauma I experienced indicates to me that the attitude about women changing their name, and the options that they are given is outdated. If I simply want to hold on to my old identity, while adding my new family name, I should be able to do that without going through the same difficult (and expensive) process that Ms. Flowers Rainbow Patchouli does. And I don't know if it's a feminist issue, for sure the assumption that the woman changes her name, not the man is. But with the relative common-ness of non-traditional name change practices, perhaps the process in Lane County deserves an update.

Bellini

2010-10-14T21:51:00.000-07:00

For the record. I really don't feel like doing this tonight. But, we opened the champagne yesterday, and if we don't drink it soon, it won't be much good, and the weekend it packed, so tonight it is, we tried the Bellini. This is the first drink that I knew for sure, I'd like. And sure enough I do. It's sweet and girly, and light, with just a hint of sour. But, it's also not terribly interesting. It's expected. However a nice shake up on the mimosa, and definitely a pick for a girly day at the spa or something similar.

1 1/2 oz peach juice
Champagne

Pour peach juice into a champagne flute, fill glass with champagne and garnish with a peach slice (we skipped the garnish)

For the record, my husband, who hates champagne actually really liked this drink! Approved by all of us, room mate included!

Black Velvet

2010-10-13T20:54:00.000-07:00

I am shocked. We have two champagne cocktails right next to each other in the book, the first is this one, and at first glance, my immediate thought was EW. To be honest, I haven't had much opportunity to drink champagne when it wasn't first mixed with orange juice, (a clear first choice for ladies drinking before noon.) However, I was pleasantly surprised by this slightly sweet, full bodied, but light cocktail. The heaviness of the Guinness is well balanced and lightened, and I could definitely drink several of these. Safely the best of both worlds I think!

1 oz Guinnes or other stout
3 oz champagne

Pour Guinness carefully into chilled flute, without creating foam, top with champagne.

I totally fail at the floating thing, turns out you're supposed to let it slip, like a black and lace instead of black and tan. However, I think I still get the main experience. Interesting to note that this drink was invented in order to mourn the death of Prince Albert in the late 19th Century.

American Beauty-almost

2010-10-07T19:27:00.000-07:00

Finally, a drink I like! This one is named for it's color, which is a rosy pink when all is said and done. It's very sweet, I think in the future I'll make it with less grenadine. The one thing that makes this not quite so awesome is that in our book, the port isn't listed with the otheringredients, so when I did my liquor store trip last week, I didn't buy any.

So this is American Beauty, minus the port, which we'll have to get some of later, since I

definitely plan to have this drink again. At first I was a bit weirded out by the fact that this drink includes mint and orange juice, but the mint is such a tiny amount that the orange and mint blend and compliment each to give it a bit of tang, without being sour. No pucker lips here.

1/2 oz. brandy
1/2 oz. dry vermouth
1/4 tsp. white creme de menthe (flavor wise, green might work, but it would ruin the coloring)
1/2 oz. grenadine
1/2 oz fresh orange juice
dash of port (excluded this time)

Shake ingredients well with ice, strain into chilled glass. Finish with port.

I did some online browsing, and this drink can be garnished with a rose petal. I can't decide if I like that, or not, but in the mean time I do like this drink!

Algonquin

2010-10-04T23:10:00.000-07:00

Ick. Can I just say, I still don't like whiskey. I tend to really like drinks made with pineapple juice so I thought maybe this would be different, but I was wrong.

It's not as bad as whiskey and tonic or some other awful things I've had (whiskey shots!) where the whiskey flavor is over bearing and just takes over your mouth, the pineapple does sweeten it, and vermouth takes the burn off. But in general, the overwhelming flavor is that of the whiskey, which I simply don't like.

Can I also say that I really hate maraschino cherries? Talk about overly processed and sickeningly sweet. With a drink like this I'm not entirely sure what the point of such garnish is anyways. Do you eat the cherry while taking a drink? Should the flavors mix? Is it like some type of chaser? We didn't have toothpicks, so my cherry is sitting at the bottom of my glass, knocking about until I finish the drink.

One thing I CAN say about this drink is it has a kick. If you like the taste of whiskey this drink would probably go down real smooth. The alcohol taste isn't real strong, though the flavor of the whiskey is. Even so, I'm already feeling the fuzzyness in my head, and I'm barely halfway through my glass.

2 oz. rye or blended whiskey
1 oz. dry vermouth
1 oz. pineapple juice

Stir ingredients with ice and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a maraschino cherry.

I think it's also fair to say that the more I drink this, the more I like it. Now I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad sign.

Affinity Cocktail

2010-10-03T16:58:00.000-07:00

Cocktail one in our little black book gave us a bit of a whirl. Neither of us like Whiskey, or Vermouth much for that matter. So for the first (and second, as you'll see) drinks of the book to contain both of those ingredients set us a bit off. But biting the bullet so to speak I went ahead and got some mid-range (I think?) whiskey and scotch.

This is supposed to be a winter drink, for before dinner (according to some website a google search revealed to me) and I can see where they're going with that. I like it more then I thought I would, it's a little bit sweet, but it cuts through that to those sour taste buds and really makes you salivate. The aftertaste is light and pleasant, and oder nice, and the orange bitters ads a touch of citrus that makes the sourness tolerable to me as I typically don't prefer sour drinks.

1 oz Scotch
3/4 oz dry vermouth
3/4 oz sweet vermouth
2-3 dashes orange bitters

Stir ingredients with ice and strain into chilled cocktail class

I can see why this simple drink is a classic.

From A-Z

2010-10-03T16:41:00.000-07:00

You may or may not have heard of a goal making movement called (among other things) 101 in 1001. The basic premise is that you make a bunch of goals, big, small, silly, serious... (101, in fact) and try and complete them in 1001 days. I did this by myself a few years ago with success somewhere in the 60% completion area. Not bad, considering how much a person changes between the ages of 20 and 23.

Luke and I have decided that we want to make our own goals as a couple. This has been complicated somewhat by the fact that all goals have to in some way apply to both of us together, not an individual, and Luke wants all goals to have quantifiable, measurable success, not something where you wait until the end of the time period, and reflect qualitatively whether or now the goal was achieved or not.

Well, one of our goals is now to try every cocktail in our bar book, as systematically as possible. Our bar book is The Little Black Book of Cocktails, and we're starting at the beginning, and working our way forward, as much as possible. So today I went grocery shopping and also made a trip to the local liquor store. I came home with:

Scotch

Dry Vermouth

Sweet Vermouth

Orange Bitters

Rye Whiskey

Pineapple Juice

Brandy

Creme de Menthe

Peach Juice

Guinness

...and our room mate is getting Champagne.

Let the tasting begin!

Flashback - First Crush

2010-10-02T08:53:00.000-07:00

After not thinking of him for... years probably, I dreamed rather suddenly of the very first guy I was ever 'in love with'. I was 12, he was too, he was blonde, freckled, spoke his mind, and had a fabulous voice. He was a mormon, and so his excuse for not dating me, when I asked, was that his religion said he couldn't date until he was 16, so I quietly bided my time with other passing crushes, while the years passed. I'm not sure if he ever would have dated me, (I was seeing someone else by the time he turned 16, but just barely). But in the passing time he'd become more agressive, less interested in school, and less interested in music. He seemed angry, but I think it was just a teenage boy thing. Even though I was perfectly satisfied with my boyfriend at the time, I always had a soft place in my heart for this guy, and wanted to see him do well, and spend some time with him.

In light of his sudden reappearance in my subconscious, I looked him up on Facebook and he looks great. The most recent pictures of him are from his brothers wedding and he seems happy. His most recent update, from about a month ago, says that he's leaving Facebook and planning on deleting his profile, including his email should anyone want to contact him.

I'm not sure if I do, or not. What little Facebook-stalking I could do indicated he is still very devoted to his Mormonism, and I'm not sure that he's be interested in hearing from an old high school flame. I have little doubt that my fondness for him throughout my adolescence was never really returned, although he did seem to respect me. But even if I don't ever email him. It's nice to see that he seems to be well.

I have a clean-dentity.

2010-09-19T21:43:00.000-07:00

One of the most challenging aspect of living with other people is the blending of several people's version of 'clean'. You expectations for the status quo of your home, more then anything, is from the home you grew up in. Like many things inherited from our parents, we are either reactionary like the pendulum, or emulate those aspects that inspired us.

For me, I emulate my parents in some ways, and am reactionary in others. In the realm of emulation, I must first inform you that my father is a bit of a perfectionist, especially in the kitchen. My father is a jack of all trades in the purist form. He could never find anything to

capture his interests enough to want to get a degree in, and so never graduated college. He grew up on farms, and working the land, building things, working with his hands, so he knows a bit of each skill type. He built houses, worked on construction crews, but was always creative and perhaps sensitive, and so he cultivated the other less stereotypically masculine aspects of himself as well. He's an accomplished and talented sketch artist, sculpter, potter, woodworker, leatherworker, tailor... and perhaps most relavant on this topic, cook. I grew up knowing my father as the cook, in fact, I didn't realize my mother could cook until I was well into middle school because Dad always cooked. We had homemade bread, gourmet meals, creative recipes and it was all delicious. But the kitchen was Dad's domain and he wanted it just so. Dishes were always rinsed and set on the counter, never stacked in the sink. Trash was carefully sorted into compostables, plastic & metal, and finally burnable trash. The cupboards were ordered and things always in their place. As a result I can't think if the kitchen is a mess. The sink must be cleared and each cupboard a specific purpose and organizational scheme. If this is no the case, then I am doing it wrong.

My mother was a fastidious housekeeper, mostly. We cleaned bathrooms and swept, and vacuumed as often as we could as a busy family, and her commitment to routine clean has certainly inspired me, but my greatest association with housekeep and my mother is the business of her decorating sense. Part of this is utilitarian. We always had pets, and so not only were most flat surfaces kept as full of stuff as possible (to keep the cats from jumping up and sleeping on them, and thereby knocking things over), but all furniture was covered with country quilts of varying colors and patterns. Every inch of free space was utilized from full bookshelves of books, trinkets and photo frames, to jungles of houseplants on top of a chest beneath a window, draped in lacy curtain. I've always been more or less ok with busy-ness. But as I've become used to having my own home, with my own decorating sensibilities, I am more and more drawn to simplicity. Solid colors, clean and empty surfaces, matched sets, neat and organized rows.

This might seem like a bit of unnecessary family

history on my part (overshare, tl;dr) but, it's

relevant in that these two things (although not alone) are part of my formative identity, so agreeing with another person, most specifically my darling husband, as to what 'clean' means, and who's to be responsible for it getting (and staying) that way, is

among the more difficult challenges.

And while it is safe to say that after living

together for three years prior to our nuptials, not a lot has changed, for some reason this issue seems more ever present in my mind. In order to compromise and find happy mediums we tried delegating tasks or spaces to each other, although that hasn't worked entirely to our satisfaction. We've also tried ignoring the things that irk us, also not an ideal plan.

The only solution that I can see is that despite, or in spite of our formative clean oriented identities, we must strive to create a new, dual identity to what our own version of clean is. Starting fresh, and new at the beginning of this new journey.

Would You Like a Treatment?

2010-09-14T17:19:00.000-07:00

Did I fall asleep?

So I'll admit the first thing I think of when I hear 'treatment' is Joss Whedon's short lived Dollhouse television show in which treatment was a euphemism for mind wiping.

Treatment in general, with or without the sci-fi personality implant is a word that for me is steeped in social justice. 'Treat' also seems to be something of an 'elementary school' word in the sense of learning how to treat others is one of those basic moral things you learn in grade school.

Treatment, being a noun, however, is somewhat difficult to measure. The way that one person treats another will be valued and catagorized differently by the treater, the treatee and the observes of said treatment. Context and relationship also play a huge role. For instance good nature teasing and one-up-man-ship between buddies (especially of the adolescent male variety) can easily be mis-interpreted as cruel teasing and social torture (and visa versa).

Respect is another thing that factors heavily into the complexities of 'treatment', especially historically as there were (and are) proper ways to treat people and animals based on your own status and the level of respect you are trying to convey.

Treatment is about reciprocity, and the type of world you want to create, and our behavior and the way we treat others is an integral aspect in creating a community and series of expectations for society.

In that light, we have in some ways come back around to the behavioral modification of the Dollhouse reference. Our treatments define the world we live in, and the role which we play in that world, and how others see us and behave toward us, regardless of our intent with that treatment.

In the first of my non-wedding related posts

2010-09-05T17:00:00.001-07:00

I have been directed, via a few friends, to Sunday Scribblings, a blog which posts weekly prompts.

This week's prompt is WAIT. Which is something I feel like I'm doing an awful lot of. Most recently I was waiting to get over jet lag, so I could have the energy to do the things that I want to do now, things around our home (we're planning on painting most of the rooms of our house), wedding wrap up things (sorting photos, writing thank yous).

Of course now that I'm over the jet lag, I've fallen back into my sedentary ways and haven't made nearly as much progress as I thought I would.

I'm also waiting on a lot of other things though. Waiting to get a full time job is a big one. Once I have a job, with some job security we can start a family, and spend a little more money on making our house nice, and invest in some more authentic materials for our SCA projects, and actually start saving money and paying back student loans with larger payments.

We always seem to be waiting on friends to get back to us on plans, in limbo, holding a date but waiting to make sure folks can actually come.

Waiting seems to be an inevitability of life, however, my mom has a motto, that can make the waiting not so bad, that she has taken from James Taylor.

Wedding is done...

2010-09-05T15:54:00.001-07:00

So many pictures to go through. I'll do a summary post once that's all done. Still waiting on the files for the pro-shots, although the shots are published, you can find them at http://www.startyourforever.com/langstraat/

In the meantime, I'd hate for this blog to go to waste, so the theme shall shift slightly to include general life posts, as well as home, family, relationship etc. Hope you'll stick around with me!

Final Progress post

2010-07-25T09:36:00.000-07:00

Name and/or LJ userID: Ruth
Wedding Date: July 31, 2010
Bride/Groom/Other (please specify): I'm the Bride!
Age: 25
City/State/Country you live in: Eugene, Oregon
City/State/Country you're getting married in (if different): Junction City, Oregon (not far away, 20 minute drive)
Your song/First Dance song: Pistol: Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World By Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
Wedding Colors: No colors specifically. I've been telling people 'ones that look good together'.
Formality: Dressy Casual/Cocktail
Theme (if you have one):Vaguely a forest/tree theme
Number of guests: 220 (give or take, I have the exact number in our spreadsheet)
How'd you meet your fiance?: Met at a party!
How long have you been together?: 3.5 years.
Do you have a personal wedding website?: Yes

Us.

Engagement Ring :)

Invitations:

Location: Long Tom Grange

Both the ceremony and the reception will take place here.
The guests will be seated at their tables during both.

Each table has a theme, instead of a number. The centerpieces will match the themes.

Luke and his father built an arbor to act as an alter.

Luke's childhood friend, who just finished seminary will be performing the ceremony. Should be short and sweet. :)

Our photographer is the amazing Michael Brinkerhoff

My dress:

Make Up (ish):

I have a bird-cage veil to wear for the ceremony, though I may scrap it at the last minute, it's been a pain in my ass...

Wreath for reception
FH's Suit:

BMs are wearing cocktail dresses that are tea length or shorter and sleeveless, each in their own color and style. I have pics of two of them (Crappy phone pics :/)

Maid of Honor

BM (she's holding it up at about the length she had it hemmed to. This is from when she bought it)

Groomsmen will have vests of the same color as their BM, different shade.

The white one's for FH.

Bouts

We'll all be barefoot for the ceremony!

Caterer-
Cornucopia Catering Company! They're a delicious bar and restaurant in our town.

Our Menu:
Appetizers:
*Baked Brie with Apples and Pears
*Fruit Basket/s with yogurt lime dipping sauce
Entrees:
*High Pasta – Spinach, artichoke hearts, tomatoes, roasted garlic, browned butter, parmesan cheese & hazelnut garnish.
*Chicken Pagonia – chicken breasts, fresh apples, portabello mushrooms,
tarragon, and shallots.
Sides:
*Gourmet Greens Salad w/ Edible Flower Garnish ; Fresh greens accompanied by cucumber rounds, tomatoes, red onion and spinach. Served with two of our homemade dressings and homemade croutons.
*Green Bean Almondine ; fresh and local green beans, sauteed to perfection in butter and spices, topped with toasted almonds.
Desert:
*Fruit Tarts;homemade fruit tarts from our Bakers...the freshest fruits... Homemade crust

We're serving cupcakes (home made by various family members and friends) as our wedding cake.

We're serving glasses of Three Buck Chuck Cabernet Sauvignon coupled with Sparkling Cider for toasting and to drink with dinner.

The head table will have Sweet Life's Chocolate Orgasm Cake [Orange Scented Chocolate cake filled with chocolate mousse and bavarian cream, topped with blood-orange-infused white chocolate butter cream and finished with ganache]

I will carry a wildflower bouquet that I pick up from the local farmers market the morning of the wedding.

My bridesmaids will carry parasols, and my father will carry one for me :)

The ceremony music is by my harper friend Noah Brenner

The reception music is DJ'd by my friend Steven Gott and his new DJ business Absolutely Entertaining

We want there to be lots of dancing for the reception so we've picked a mix of classic rock, 80s, jazz, swing and contemporary stuff. We've rented two dance floors, so here's hoping!

After the ceremony begins to wind down, we're all going to head back to me and FH's back yard for an afterparty. Our site limits our alcohol consumption to the wine with dinner, so this party will be a bit more boozin'. We're making up some jungle juice, and are encouraging folks to BYOB too. This party is just that... a party.

A few days after the wedding, we head of on our fabulous backpacking trip to Europe.
We're going to London, a medieval reenactment event at a castle in Wales, Normandy, Bayeux, Paris, Versailles, Florence and Rome. The trip is 21 days total!

I THINK that's it...
Still Left To Do:
Finish gather the stuff for the centerpieces
Double check a few honeymoon related stuff
Get new shoes for honeymoon for FH
Pack for honeymoon
Final dress fitting
Pick up the linens
Make my post-wedding hair appointment

2010-06-24T10:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a project day! I made 20 of the signs for the tables, and wrote all the name tags that we have RSVPs for. In theory we'll have some 'stuff' on each table that matches the theme, but for now there are pretty signs!

Things are coming together...

2010-06-05T08:54:00.000-07:00

FH is currently visiting a friend in Seattle this weekend and he's gone SUIT SHOPPING! They found him a suit, for only $170, I think it's dark dark grey with pinstripes, though it's hard to tell from the cellphone pic!

This sh*t just got real...

2010-06-04T09:46:00.000-07:00

My invitations finally came in. They were a bit late due to an unexpected injury of my printer (she broke her leg, ack!), it was stressing me, though she was doing her darndest to get them to me in time to send them out before Memorial Day, and lo and behold she came through.
The design and printing, as well as the map are all from Twin Ravens Press, and let me tell you, I am so impressed, and have been VERY pleased to get a TON of compliments on them.

Our envelops aren't as vibrent as this in real life, they're more of a medium blue.

We don't have colors for our wedding, as you may recall, just sort of an earthy theme, so we didn't wan to give the idea that brown, green and bronze were 'our colors', if ya know what I mean.

The bronze ink is metallic, if you can't tell. Anyways, I'm thrilled, and we've been getting tons of compliments on them, which makes me more thrilled ;) We got a great deal on them as we're friends on the printer, but she's very reasonable in general.

So YAY, invitations out. And we've been getting RSVPs too. Suddenly it feels like this wedding is really happening. Less the two months away AAAANNNND, the bridal shower is tomorrow!

I've been avoiding...

2010-05-01T09:43:00.000-07:00

We haven't been making many wedding decisions lately. It's been the time of the great wait. But as our wedding is not officially less then three months away, it's time to get crackin'.

In particular, I'm thinking about head gear. I've had quite a headache getting my bird cage veil to look the way I want it to. Now maybe I'm too picky, or in too much of a rush...but it keeps looking too...poufy. Or being too small. All the instructions I've seen say something like 'gather until you like the way it looks'. HA, yea.

Also, I've been thinking about the imagery of a wreath of flowers... so I'm thinking of changing my vision...

and wearing something like

instead of

Thoughts?

Vintage Bride

2010-02-19T15:52:00.000-08:00

I wouldn't say I'm having a vintage wedding, but there are definitely aspects of it that are inspired by vintage fashion, especially my dress. I love my dress, but I sort of wish I'd discovered this Portland based store before I'd purchased my dress. The Vintage Bride repurposes, altars and sells vintage wedding dresses from throughout the 2oth century. Now I certainly won't fit in [m]any actual vintage dresses, but they can take dresses with large trims and use them to make those teeny dresses more real girl sized! I thought it was pretty cool!

Vintage Alfred Angelo

Titanic Era Gown

Making progress!

2010-01-20T21:40:00.000-08:00

Wow, it's been a LONG time. Whoops.

Over Christmas we did some chatting and planning verbally, but with the holidays everything, nothing was secured. However, we're moving forward quickly now that we're officially into the year of our wedding (ooh ,that's weird to say).

We're honing in on our rentals, figuring out exactly what the ladies are going to be wearing, and most excitingly, making our registries!

We've decided on three things. One, we're indicating our interest in remodeling our kitchen, and our desire to patronize Jerry's (a local large hardware store). Two, we've registered at Sears for a few appliance type things (most specifically a serger, they were the only wedding registry type place that had them!)

And finally, we've settled on Macy's. Part of me really didn't want to choose them. EVERYONE registers at Macy's . It's so cliche, and so... traditional. I wanted to register at Down to Earth, a local home store, or some where like JC Penny, a more ... I don't know... every man type store. I grew up shopping at Penny's, it's familiar, I like it! But after checking around and looking at our options Macy's just really made it hard to say no.

The Fiesta ware was a big selling point too! Yes, that's right we're registering for Fiesta dishes. I had sort of avoided that option. My mother has Fiesta ware, and I felt that if I chose them too it would be like I was copying her, or only doing it because she did it. But it was Luke's idea, so I LOVE it.

Anyways, we haven't actually started our registry yet, because they have an event coming up which actually sounds like a ton of fun.

They're doing a 'Sip & Scan' at which they are going to have drinks, hors d'oeuvres, vendors, and other fun stuff. Plus, we get to walk around the store shopping for stuff that we don't have to pay for, always fun. They're going to be doing free point and shoot engagement shots, and more. If we do this, we are also entered in a drawing for gift card. Outside of the event, simply registering at Macy's has a lot more incentives, 10% off everything for 90 days after the wedding, plus we earn store cred at a rate of 5% the value of gifts purchased. Penny's had nothing to offer. So, I guess what i'm saying, is I understand why everyone registers as Macy's!

To Blog or Not To Blog...

2009-12-01T10:04:00.000-08:00

I applied awhile back to be a 'Bridal Bud' for the BridalBuds website. It's a bridal community. Think WeddingBee, I thought it was sort of independent and smallish. They turned me down because my wedding was more then a year away, so awhile back I applied again. This time I was accepted, but now I'm not sure I want to do it.

First of all, they're less small then I thought. Seems that they are run by a company that is associated in some way with Martha Steward, facebook, iPhone and WeddingWire. So definitely part of the whole WiC thing...

Also, you guys know, I've not been updating like a good blogger should. I would need to write 2-3 entries a week. But then, I don't just get to post them myself, I submit them to their editors, and hope for the best. I've never been a fan of censorship, but on the other hand, it might not be that way. If I were running a website like that, I'd want to see why my bloggers were publishing too.

The third big hurdle is I have to fax in my signed agreement form. I don't have a fax machine. I'm not even sure where I'd go to fax something....

So, any opinions?

Second Reception, in the works!

2009-12-01T08:52:00.000-08:00

Over the Holiday weekend we talked with both of our families some about the wedding. Luke's mom especially had a bunch of ideas to share with us.

We've been dealing with this issues of the guest list. I may have mentioned before that my super power is that I know everyone. On top of that we both have large families, and we see our wedding as the excuse to throw a big party (something we love to do anyways!).

This has resulted in a long guest list, minimum of 300. Now we know that not all of these people will come, whats the rule of thumb? Two thirds of the folks who you invite will come? But Zanne, Luke's mom, came up with a great idea! There are a lot of people (who have large families) that are friends of Luke's from his church up in Corvallis. They are people who perhaps were a large part of Luke's life as a child, but are less so now. Many of them have more of a relationship with his parents, then with him.

So instead of inviting many of those church folk, his parents have offered to host a receptions especially for the people from their church after we return from our honeymoon. That way we can still celebrate with them, but not invite them to the wedding. This is a great compromise because I know Luke was really struggling choosing who to invite to the wedding from the church and who not it. It's not a large church, which means that everyone knows each other well, but it's big enough to be one of the largest groups of people on our list.

I'm so relieved to have a solution to help us pare down that list. I mean, I'm glad to be having a large wedding, but seeing all those names is a little overwhelming, and I know we wouldn't be able to chat with each of them individually!

Bonus? I get to wear my wedding dress again!

Wedding is about marriage and what you do with it

2009-11-28T10:18:00.000-08:00

I don't want to be one of those couples that sits when we're old wishing we'd done things differently when we were young. Up was an adorable movie, but I somehow doubt I'll get my house to fly up and away to South America when I'm old, a widow and lonely.

Do it now. That's partially why we're insisting on going to Europe for our honeymoon, despite that fact that it may or may not be the most financially sound decision, but it's what we're doing and damnit, we're going to love every minute of it.

Meg at A Practical Wedding pointed me towards a blogger names Lauren who made a post about living without your partner some day. I think she really hit the nail on the head in a discussion with her husband about their finances: Lauren posted this about planning a budget with her new husband:

We also set a savings goal that would make us both feel comfortable with any emergencies that came up (after buying a house and paying for a wedding in one year, our savings is severely crippled.) We figured out how long it would take to reach that goal, and then Jeff said "So, should we not travel until we reach our goal?" My response was "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Buying a fridge- sure, we can wait on that. But traveling, exploring, experiencing new things together- non-negotiable. I don't care HOW little money is in our bank account.

So here is to traveling, exploring and experiencing new things with my new husband!

Two for Tea, Alone!

2009-11-20T10:44:00.001-08:00

Now, I wouldn't spend $35 on a cake topper, in fact I don't even know if we will have a cake topper. But this is adorable. From WeddingCollectibles.com

Inspiration Board

2009-11-15T10:41:00.000-08:00

I'm not a graphics type person. I don't even own software that COULD do graphics, if I had the skills. So I haven't really bothered with an inspiration board, however I just came across this nifty tool that allows you to upload your own pictures to use in an inspiration board, it's fairly basic, but I was able to put together ideas

The board can be found here

Feel free to make you own!

Leaving On A Jet Plane...

2009-10-18T10:10:00.000-07:00

Recently I have shifted my planning focus from wedding to Honeymoon!

Luke and I have decided we want to travel in Europe for (most) of the month of August following our July 31st wedding. In an effort to get out of his hair for an hour while he was writing a paper last week I went by our local library and picked up a ton of guidebooks. The first one I read was Rough Guide's First Time Europe. I LOVED it. There is some issue with this book as it's and older edition, printed in 2003, the year of my LAST European tour. Some stuff is out of date, especially in regards to the internet, but it's a great resource none-the less. They seem to have a newer edition from 2007, but I think it's written by a different person.

I've been to Europe before, but it was part of a choral tour. We had a very strict schedule and all travel and accommodations (and most of our sightseeing) was arranged ahead of time for us. I was also only 18. So this feels like my first trip to Europe, or at least, my first trip I'm planning for Europe.

We will visit Britain, France and Italy (we only have from the 2nd of August until about the 23rd), and we'd like to balance our time between the three countries. We're doing this the cheap way, so a lot of hostels, the old backpacking backpack, cooking our own food as much as possible, with a few deviations so it still feels like a honeymoon! After finishing the First Time Europe book, I've realized that there are three major purchases that are necessary before next summer.

1) A backpack. Last time I was in Europe I had a suitcase, which is a great suitcase, but we were in tour buses that dropped us off mere feet from our 4 or 5 star hotel. Not happening this time, we'll be walking/busing/train-ing from place to place. Apparently they don't really make external frame bags any longer? We went to R.E.I., and I got fitted, this is the bag that seemed to suit my needs the most. It's currently on sale, but there is a used gear event next weekend that we want to check out.

2) A good pair of walking shoes (and sandles?). I don't have a good pair of tennis shoes right now. Just a simple fact. Definitely going to want those. I also need to decide if I want to invest in a pair of Chakos or Tevas or some other active wear sandal rather rely on flip flops. I tend to be very comfortable in flip flops, especially my favorite Reefs, but I anticipate that we'll be doing a lot of walking. Can anyone recommend a type of shoe I should look into? I appreciate any advice that you have on this account since there are
SO MANY options!

3) A camera. In my over-exuberance at a recent trip to the beach my beloved little camera fell out of my pocket and into the ocean. It did not recover. I'm making due with my day to day photo needs by using an old digital that a friend gave me. It is not a very nice camera, and it requires AA batteries, something I'd like to avoid. I clearly need a better ( and smaller?) camera for this vacation as last time I went to Europe I didn't own a digital camera and ended up taking hardly any pictures, well, I took a lot of pictures, but not nearly enough and many of the images of monuments or art exhibits didn't turn out as well as I'd like. This is another area where I'd love some advice. I had a little fujifilm camera that I loved before it went swimming, but it's zoom wasn't as powerful as I may have liked. It had a lot of modes that I really appreciated including a museum mode that had no sounds or flash, a must for a trip to Europe! I've considered simply purchasing the same camera again, but I'm open to other suggestions too!

Lady in Red... (not)

2009-10-12T10:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we bought my wedding dress, or I should say my mother did (she insisted).

So much for my big plan, right? Well here's how it went.

I went to Sephora to get a make-up trial at 12:30. After some run around and a sort of rude and exasperated sales lady who didn't understand what I was asking for, I finally got hooked up with the manager, who had a lady do some gold/brown smokey eyes for me. She used Urban Decay Primer Potion in Sin, Urban Decay Half Baked, Twice Baked and Jinx (a blue) eyeshadows, and Smashbox Cream Liner in Midnight Brown, topped with Smashbox Bionic Mascara. I did buy the primer, it worked pretty amazingly as far as keeping my shadow on, not letting it crease, and giving a base so that the shadow didn't fade into my skin. As for the make up (pictured above) at first I thought it was too heavy, but it grew on me. I think she took the dark shadow up too high on my eyes, but over all I liked it.

We finished up there around 1:30 and headed over to David's Bridal. I was hoping I could kinda sneak in and do my own thing, I didn't want the hoopla that bridal consultants tend to give, and I didn't want the pressure to buy. When my cousin Sonja and I went to David's for her dress a few years ago the woman who worked with us/her was very pushy to her and made her really uncomfortable. Unfortunately, they wouldn't let me just 'do my own thing'. In fact apparently we're not even allowed to move the dresses our selves. They made us wait for an appointment, the soonest availability was an hour away. They also informed me that the dress that I had my heart on was discontinued, there were likely none of those dresses left in the state!

Clearly the only option was to go find somewhere to get a drink! I had my mom, and three of my four bridesmaids with me, one had to go run an errand, so she went to do that while the other two bridesmaids and my mom headed over to a El Torido Mexican restaurant just down the street, where my mother kindly purchased a kick ass margarita for me (and a round for my girls!). DAMN that Cadillac Margarita is good. I got mine in blackberry. Feeling much more cheerful we headed back over to David's Bridal for my consultation.

They hooked me up with my consultant, and in an effort to assure them that I was in charge, I pointed her towards half a dozen gowns I wanted to try on since the one I wanted wasn't available. As I tried on my dresses, I received several updates on the status of my favorite dress. Apparently, though it was discontinued, they could order it, in Ivory, in one size up from my size, at the sale price. I decided that should at the end of the afternoon, no other dresses jump out at me as possibilities, I would go ahead and order it (on my mother's instruction and insistence).

I tried on about 10 dresses in all I think, none of them fit as well, or made me feel as good as the dress I chose, and the two that DID look good would need some serious alterations to fit me (and my needs properly). They were also all more expensive. So in the end, we ordered that dress, and now I get to check a big check box off on my wedding list. The dress arrives in January!The dress in question, on me last December

2009-10-10T08:41:00.000-07:00

I'm very excited because tomorrow me, my bridesmaids and my mom are going back to David's Bridal. I'm moving forward in in my dress plan, which feels great. I am also planning on going to Sephora before hand to see if I can't get a consultation. I love when it feels like progress is being made!

I did want to share neat little site with you guys. Many of you may be fans of ColourLovers a resource for creating palettes and patterns of color. This site, Mulitcolor Search Lab is more randomizing. You choose (up to ten) colors from a palette of 120, and it pulls images from flickr. A great way to check out how you like certain colors next to each other.

I also found a great resource for inexpensive paper lanterns!

It's begining to feel a lot like...

2009-10-04T10:18:00.000-07:00

Image By akbuilt

More wonderful advice from Meg at A Practical Wedding. She did her own flowers, or rather Team Bridal did her flowers. They did everything, centerpieces the whole shebang. We're doing a lot less with flowers, but the advice is awesome all the same!

Lughnasadh Wedding?

2009-10-03T08:57:00.000-07:00

I just found out via a friend that our wedding is planned for Lughnasadh eve.
I don't know a whole lot about Pagan holidays (please correct more or inform me better if I get any of this wrong Pagan folk!) but my impression from reading around the interwebs is that this particular feast/holiday is about harvest, bounty and things coming together.
It was traditionally at time in Ireland where people would handfast, and have a trial marriage for one year. It sound to me like a terribly appropriate time to get married! Neither my Luke nor I are Pagan, however we have a lot of respect for a lot of the elements of Paganism that I am aware of, especially when it comes to respecting nature, the elements and the natural flow of things. We think this coincidence is very cool.
Any of you who are Pagan, are there some ways that we may be able to integrate a small part of that holiday into our wedding, paying respect to it so to speak, without being offensive since we are not ourselves Pagan?

Let's Face the Music and Dance

2009-10-01T20:57:00.000-07:00

Two exciting things. First of all Meg over at A Practical wedding made a wonderful post about guidelines for DJing your own wedding. Definitely one to keep in mind as we start to put together the play list.

Second, I spoke with my friend Jonna who's not only a friend in the SCA, but also a professional costumer. She helped me to work through what I want for a wedding dress and what is the most feasible and cost efficient (since both Luke and I are unemployed).

Plan goes as follows.

1) Go back to David's bridal and try on that dress that I liked so much when I went last December.

2) Watch DB like a hawk and try and purchase this dress on sale!

3) If by the end of April this dress had not gone on sale cheap enough for me to buy, then she will help me to make it myself!

So I feel MUCH better about that whole thing. We need to start looking for a suit for Luke now so HE has something to wear!

Waiting.

2009-09-28T08:56:00.000-07:00

With my own wedding, things have very much been on hold.

I'm waiting to get a meeting scheduled with our caterer to sign our contract.
I'm waiting to make a meeting with a seamstress friend in order to make decisions about what the hell I'm going to WEAR!
I'm waiting for Luke to be willing to decide what we will say in our invitation so I can send it off to Twin Ravens to get designed and printed.

In the mean time. Bad ideas for engagement photos.

Silly Wedding ideas

2009-07-31T08:17:00.000-07:00

We aren't doing any of these ideas ourselves, but they seem like they'd be a lot of fun!

Katamari Damacy Wedding!

Custom Dice for your wedding favors!

How to...

2009-07-29T13:12:00.000-07:00

Make a birdcage veil!

Just can't stop...

2009-07-27T18:04:00.000-07:00

For some reason they aren't allowing embedding on this video any more, but please, if you like the idea of a fun, joyful wedding, check out this recent wedding.

Forever

Yum.

2009-07-21T20:25:00.000-07:00

I think I want lavender in my bouquet.
And maybe other good smelling stuff.

yawn! Are we down to a year yet?

2009-07-13T17:44:00.000-07:00

So. If I can't/don't make my own wedding dress, that's ok. I've been keeping my eye out for dresses that are $200 or less that I might like for my wedding. We'll see how that goes. I'm still gonna finish the mock up's I've started though.
This wrap-dress-thingy looks possible. In Vanilla, if the fabric's not too thin.

This guest book idea is TOTALLY cute to, having people fill out cards and then have them alphabetized. I like alphabetizing. I keep finding more and more things that I might want Twin Raven's Press to print.

I also really really really like this idea for Trivia Centerpieces. I don't think I'd do wedding trivia. More like trivia about the things Luke and I are into, but same idea. Or maybe Trivia about Luke and I! Or trivia about different guests!

I also realized that once we get the caterer booked, we've got the big stuff under control. Food. Location. Someone to do the marrying. The rest is just details.

While I live and breathe...

2009-06-15T19:23:00.000-07:00

It's been more then a month since I last posted! I know a scandal!

...ok who am I kidding...

But, reality in the form of my student teaching had to take precedence for awhile, and we weren't really doing any wedding planning anyways... so I didn't have much to talk about. However, as things are winding down with school, I am looking at wedding stuff again, and moving back into planning mode!

The Grange is officially booked, so that's a bit of a relief. We're still waffling on caterers, mostly because we don't have the money to put down for one right now anyways. I'm still half hoping that one of my bridesmaid's aunts will be able to do it. We talked to her ages ago, but she wasn't willing to commit so far in advance.

I bought a second piece of fabric to make a second mock up of a totally different design, something more vintage. This is Simplicity 3823, which is the style I want, but I'm thinking there might be a better pattern then this. Or maybe I should just make my own. I really really really don't like sewing with modern patterns. This seems like it woudl be pretty easy, the skirt is a huge trapezoid, the top is basically triangles attached to a rectangle. Gather, wrap, sew, right?

Anyways, finally I've been reading wedding blogs again and have a few things to share!

This vintage Prauge wedding makes me terribly jealous that everything in my neck of the woods, except, well the woods, is so darned NEW. Classic, classy and terribly romantic.

And this totally adorable dress is quite inspiring. This is what I was going for with my first dress design, only I want straps, and no sweetheart neckline. Perhaps it's my construction that's not working. Or perhaps I should, ya know, finish the dress and then make up my mind.

Another type of paper flower to consider, though Zanne, my soon to be Mother in Law, and Becky, my soon to be Sister in Law, both loved the spiral rose design I stole from the lovely Adela over at Tenthousandonly.

And last but not least, THIS could totally be my wedding in another lifetime.

Progress

2009-05-11T15:46:00.000-07:00

Things have been quiet around here as I've been very focused on my student teaching. But we have been making progress. Here are some highlights.

*Dress- I am nearly finished with my initial mock up, though I am rethinking the design. I might do a different dress, this one feels... underwhelming.

*Location- We are officially going to have it at the Long Tom Grange, we are just waiting for me to get my new box of checks from the bank (I ran out) so that I can send in my deposit for it.

*Catering- We have met with two caterers, Cornucopia and Carte Blanche Catering. Right now we like pretty much everything about them both, we just need to decide which is going to be more affordable. The only thing is we don't have the money for the deposit on that right now, though we may be able to borrow it from my parents.

*Photography- Booked and deposit paid! Yay Michael Brinkerhoff!

... and that's what we have for sure... more later?

Waltzing Matilda...

2009-04-25T08:04:00.000-07:00

Things have been quiet around here, I know. I haven't been doing much in the way of wedding stuff. We have a decent idea of what we want, and it's too soon to tell for most everything else. Everything is 'in progress', but not much progress is being made. We're still 15 months out from the wedding after all.

One thing has been bothering me though. Luke and I both love dancing, and have a decent amount of training. It's important to us to have dancing at our wedding. Not a long list of formal dances where he and I dance with everyone of the opposite gender from our families, ("...and now for the Mother of the bride's cousin and the groom...")

Our location (which we will book once we get a few questions answered) has an indoor space (the grange hall) and an outdoor space, which is basically field and forest. No manicured anything, not a lawn... not full of potholes, but not particularly flat either. (See this entry for a refresher on our location.

We initially wanted the whole thing (ceremony and reception) to be outside (barring weather complications) and so it didn't really matter to us that the grange was a bit...agricultural... All anyone but my 'staff' was going to see was the outside, which is a lovely shade of yellow anyways... But now that I am thinking more specifically about dancing, I'm thinking that in the grange hall might be the only place to do it! It's terribly obnoxious to dance on something that doesn't at least resemble a dance floor, and Luke and I want to show off!

The grange hall last November

Theoretically we could rent a dance floor, but they are expensive. The one quote we've seen on dance floors was nearly $300 fro 12'x12', which with a guest list of 300+ wouldn't really cut it if everyone wanted to dance. On the other hand, maybe everyone WON'T want to dance.

I just went to a wedding that had their reception at the Elks Club. It was lovely and all, and fit the couple wonderfully, but the pictures of old members staring down from the walls during the reception and the animal heads really killed it for me. Now I'm sure that the grange isn't as bad as that, but still I don't want to sacrifice the mood of my wedding, just because I'm snobby about dancing surfaces.

So it seems I have three options:
*Suck it up and rent a dance floor, even if it might be on the small side.
*Have dancing indoors, risking splitting the reception and adding a podunk feel to the party
*Have the dancing outdoors in the grass and just screw the whole dance floor thing, no one is going to care how well we dance anyways.

What do you guys think?

More non-floral bouquets

2009-03-18T11:00:00.000-07:00

I'm still pretty sold on the parasol idea, but at Offbeat Bride did a big post on alternative bouquets that I just had to share. Some of the ideas I don't much care for (not really into the button thing, a little too... Raggedy Anne?) but a bunch are totally cute. I love the lantern idea for an evening wedding!

These origami map bouquets are sweet! (you might have to have an Offbeat Bride Tribe account to see them)

Squee!

2009-03-17T20:20:00.000-07:00

From livejournal

I adore these invitations.

Right up my 'lily fair' alley!

2009-03-12T10:32:00.001-07:00

Luke came up with a wonderful idea! He likes the idea of parasols for the bridesmaids (and probably one for me too)!

Considering July/August in Oregon can be quite hot, and we don't want to spend a fortune on flowers, I like the idea! What do you guys think?
Perhaps something like one of these?

$7.50 each from http://www.lunabazaar.com
$7.95 each from http://www.lunabazaar.com
$21.50 each from http://www.lunabazaar.com
$22 from http://www.lunabazaar.com
$8.95 each from http://www.lunabazaar.com

For the bride with more of a budget, perhaps you'd prefer these lovely Victorian inspired parasols from The Ladies Emporium. My favorite is the Battenberg Lace Parasol, in Ivory.

And then of course there is always ebay, which has a variety of parasol options, though of questionable quality sometimes...

Admittedly I didn't spend much time look in etsy for parasols, but I didn't find any that were in my price range...Most of what I found were also things that had parasols printed on them, or jewelry of parasols, not actual parasols...

So, parasol, good idea? Lame? As a replacement for flowers for my bridesmaids, or in addition to them?

From Here Comes the Guide

From McHenry County Blog
From Joyce&Edward
From TwoBrides

Feedback?

Floral Alternatives

2009-02-24T18:20:00.000-08:00

Duct Tape Flowers

Paper Roses!

I really want to find a way to use the paper roses as our center pieces, they are super simple, unique and quite pretty if I do say so myself.

Reporting back

2009-02-24T17:47:00.000-08:00

Well, it was a strange 'presentation'.

We showed up at our local Red Lion in a few minutes early, and made our way up to the presentation room. There had been a presentation earlier in the day, so there was a small two burner unit, as well as a variety of pots and pans, and several dishes out. Two other couples were there already. We were handed a clipboard with a form to fill out, and waited another ten minutes or so before the representative started the presentation.

Now, I may be overly critical, being a performer and in theater, but this guy wasn't a very good presenter. His word choices and speech patterns just didn't inspire me to want to spend lots of money on high quality cook ware. He started with telling us about our benefits package (which was totally legit, as far as I could tell), and then asked if we would mind if he skipped the 90 minute talk about the cookware, and just let us go home with the benefits packages, and that's just what he did. We picked which vacation we wanted (we picked the one that can be to Mexico, Dominican Republic, or Bahamas, we have to provide transportation there, and they take care of nearly everything else), and a discounted membership to a grocery coupon service, and we were out the door.

To be honest, I was a little let down, I wanted to hear about the cook ware, but c'est la vie! I'll let you know when we decide to use the trip, we've got three years until it expires.

We're winners?

2009-02-17T17:22:00.000-08:00

I don't think I mentioned the Bridal Show that Luke and I went to about a month ago. Needless to say it was a bit overwhelming. More samples, literature, pamphlets and drawings then I could wrap my head around. It was a lot of fun too! Looking at the sparklies, seeing what business I am familiar with have to offer. I will admit to privately snarking about the aging string quartet that was rather painfully out of tune. The fashion show was fun to catch glimpses of, though Luke wouldn't let us sit down and watch. (He insisted that since I was making my gown anyways, I didn't need to watch it... lol) I was honestly a bit taken aback by the terrible posture most of the models, but that is a different post altogether.

The most beneficial aspect of the show was trying all the caterers, and knowing they were all local places, places that I could go and visit. We found two and particular from the show that we are very seriously considering. Cowgirl Catering (which is a sub-company of Flavors), Carte Blanche, and Cornucopia.

At least that as what i thought the most beneficial aspect was until this afternoon when I received a voice mail notifying me that I'd won a wedding package.

Ah.... come again?

So I called the back, and sure enough, Luke and I have 'won' a vacation, either a tropical trip in the Dominican Republic, Mexico or The Bahamas; or a trip at one of 17 locations within the US. Not to mention a gift card of some sort.

All Luke and I have to do is head down to the Red Lion Inn on Saturday afternoon, try out some cookware, and give our opinions. Courtesy of Gateway Bride.

Now hang on a second before you jump in and tell me what a scam it is, I've read the consumer reports etc. And it sounds to me like a legit effort to get new couples to buy their cookware by offering incentives. No way are Luke or I going to be pressured into purchasing cookware we don't need, so we'll check it out on Saturday, keep our skeptic hats on, and let you know how it goes.

For those who liked the book centerpieces...

2009-02-16T09:44:00.000-08:00

Like me, I found a few more around the interwebs.
Kim made these great mock ups, which I found via the Livejournal group weddingplans

Another pic of this centerpiece is here at their Flickr account.

Or these school house centerpieces from Amber and Jeff's wedding.
Also found via weddingplans.
And more of this centerpiece here, at their respective flickr account.

Totally cute.

Maybe a different giant party...

2009-02-13T14:44:00.000-08:00

Though it isn't possible for us (not with a guest list of 300) to cater our own wedding, it was something we really wanted to do originally. And it's nearly a sure fire way to save money. Here is a great article about how to DIY cater without driving yourself crazy.

These are perfect

2009-02-13T14:41:00.000-08:00

Though I don't need ten of them. Check out Toybreaker at Etsy

Dreamwood is a really cheesy name.

2009-02-11T11:02:00.000-08:00

So we just had a little kink thrown in our awesome plans.

Dreamwood

It is practically next door to the Long Tom Grange, the location we have previously been planning on using.

But let's start with the one down side. It's $3000, which is nearly six times what we would pay for the Long Tom Grange.

It's privately owned by a family (one of the student teachers at my mom's school is part of the family that owns and operates it, that's how I heard about it).

They do everything there.

What do I mean by everything? Well let me tell you...

They have 6 staff members day of, one parking attendant, one bartender, one day of coordinator, the others are servers, set up, runners etc.

The space can accommodate up to 500, but for 300 or less they already have all the tables, chairs, linens (white), napkins (colored or white), dishes, flatware, serving dishes, sliver for a beverage table, pitchers, glassware for a dessert or candy buffet. They have a wide variety of decorations and centerpiece things such as: gazebo, chandeliers, hurricane glasses, candles, white paper lanterns, cut glass votive holders, and more. Not to mention various fabric and ribbon for decorating. They supply the bathrooms (so called 'black tie' port-a-potties), more parking then we could need, several big (semi-permanent) baskets of flowers, colored for the general area, white for the alter area, electricity hook ups, several big white couches, a large dance floor, two sites, about 75 feet apart, connected by a path. The bride is invited to use a room in their home in order to get ready and is treated to a luncheon (with her maids I assume) the day of the wedding. Once the contract is signed, the bride and groom are welcome to come out to the site any time, and they can start bringing stuff out to the site the Wednesday before the wedding, and have access until Sunday.

While we are welcome to bring out own food in for the rehearsal dinner, we would have to use their catering service, I'm waiting for a sample menu, which will be sent to me with the other info, the catch is their minimum is $20/person for catering. This is of course the other down side. The other catering services we are looking at are about $13.00/person, although that doesn't include gratuity, which the $20 for Dreamwood does include.

So now it all comes down to money. Luke and I both agree that this sounds fantastic, but can we afford it?

Here is a photo blog of a wedding there.

Rock around the clock...

2009-02-06T14:47:00.000-08:00

As many of you other brides have probably come to realize, if you sign up for anything wedding related, you are instantly inundated with emails and advertisements from every imaginable type of vendor, not to mention 'newsletters' promising advice and good deals. Most of this is instantly deleted (or recycled depending on the medium), however I got one a few days back that actually linked to decent top ten list for bridal showers.

Now bridal showers are weird. I've had the pleasure of throwing two different showers for friends, and it was a bunch of fun, but really what are they for!

I know the original idea is to shower brides with gifts they will need to begin their new life with their new husband in their new and as of yet unfurnished home (since they've been living with their father, or maybe alone or with girlfriends up until this point, right?). However, many brides these days already live with their fiance, and have a furnished house, or DON'T live with him, so they end up with TWO of everything when co-habitation occurs.

But they're fun! I'm totally a hostess type. I love planning parties, especially if they can be fancy or themed. Party games and decorations; totally me. I used to plan my birthday parties as a kid with a schedule:
2:00 Guests arrive
2:10 Play outside
2:30 Play pin the tail on the donkey
2:45 Eat Cake
3:00 Open presents.

...you get the idea...

But as adults, and not just adults but varied adults who may or may not actually know each other... planning a good party is definitely a challenge. So without further ado, here is the list of bridal shower party plans. Hosting Bridal Shower I particularly like the around the clock idea, a friend of mine did that for hers (not one I planned, I was just a guest) and it was very neat, and gave people something to talk about. And it sure beats toilet paper wedding dresses...

I can tell centerpieces are going to be a hang up for me.

2009-02-01T19:03:00.000-08:00

Reading 2000 dollar wedding the other day, she had this great post on eco-friendly centerpieces featuring an awesome book piece, from Offbeat Bride.

I love it! It would be a great way to integrate our own interests into the centerpieces by combing a few of our own books with cheap books from garage sales etc. Unfortunately, Luke doesn't like the idea. He's never been as much of a reader as I am, though I don't really understand why he doesn't like the idea besides that.

If Luke had it his way, we would have nothing as centerpieces except the table sign. We're probably making ones from DIY Bride. I can't find pictures of one like them though.. They're cute, and we're not planning on using numbers. Some sort of creative name instead, and then the idea hit. We could theme each centerpiece to go with the table name. Have the book table, the flower table, candle table etc. We brainstormed a list, though I'm not super thrilled with all of them. Still not sure if we're going to go with this idea or not. I really want nice, pretty centerpieces, Luke doesn't care, and more importantly (to him) he doesn't want to spend money on them.

I also really like these poms from Martha Stuart.

So, thoughts? Any ideas we could use for table themes? We have between 20 and 30 tables, so this is a huge undertaking...

Yes, the centerpieces are going to be my Achilles heel...or something like that. I don't think that is quite the right metaphor.

Pray thee fill me my glass...

2009-01-27T18:48:00.001-08:00

I have had the pleasure of attending three bridal showers, two of them I have helped to plan, and frankly; I'm bored. Each shower had one or two cute things that they did at them, otherwise it was gawking at the Bride, who babbles about the wedding and the groom, and then opens presents. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about the presents, I'm not ashamed of that. Wedding gifts have got to be one of the perks of the modern wedding traditions. But, how can that be fun for the guests. My wedding shower is a long way off, like more then a year, but I want to do something more interesting then inviting all my female friends, relatives and in-laws over, dressing them up in toilet paper dresses, and thanking them all profusely for their thoughtful gifts.

I love the wine tasting idea, though I'm not sure all my family would go for it.

What fun and unique ideas have you heard for bridal showers?

I'm happy just to dance with you...

2009-01-27T14:35:00.000-08:00

One of the tasks that I've started on slowly, is building the play list for our reception. We're doing the iPod and speakers thing, and then hopefully our friend who for years was a wedding DJ will keep an eye on things and keep us organized. Anyone who knows me knows that I have rather eclectic music tastes. Put my iTunes on random and you'll get Alkaline Trio, Billy Joel, The Chieftains, Flobots, Frank Sintara, Mozart and Broadway. Something that is important to Luke and I both is that the reception be fun. We want people to dance and have fun. But we want to be able to dance to, real dancing. Swing, Cha Cha etc. So finding a balance of stuff I like, and stuff our friends nad family will like is definintely a challange. I haven't spent too much time on it, but every time I'm listening to music and I come accross a song or two that I think will be good, I just add it to my play list 'wedding'. In my surfing through wedding sites and articles I came accross an interesting list of 'first dance' songs. I don't think we'll do a first dance, but regardless, I think these are good songs to consider having on the play list. Alternativly, these are probably songs that a DJ would be familiar with, so if there are any songs on this list that you DON'T like, make sure to put them on the don't play list.
First Dance Songs, thanks to Marth Stuart

What do we want... Brains...

2009-01-25T18:05:00.000-08:00

The penchant for Zombies that many of my friends and acquaintances have, I must say I do not share, but I couldn't pass up mentioning these sweet, touching undead words that officiant Leslie Light shared at a wedding highlighted on Offbeat Bride.

"Together, they will defend their humanity and their home with all the wit, grace, and power of any spunky heroine or over-sized hero.

Together they are an example of what is possible when two people set their sights on the same star. They cut through our 21st century cynicism and prove that, in fact, zombification is not inevitable — that friendship, love, and desire, when held with both hands, are the only weapons any of us need to stay human.

With the zombies held at bay by their mutual promises, Michelle and Matt are ready to face the other monsters of life – defending against the Frankenstein coworkers, the Soul Vampires of false friends, and the Mummy of age itself.

The adventure they are about to embark on has all the magic of any Hollywood movie and all the terror of true Lovecraftian horror – dread Cthulhu has nothing on balancing family Christmases."

This is just a sniped from the ceremony, I can think of quite a few couples or individuals for whom this type of reading would be just perfect!

Choosing your wedding party

2009-01-23T11:35:00.000-08:00

The task of choosing our wedding party has been more difficult then I anticipated. There's also all sorts of baggage associated with it (as we all know I'm sure). This post at A $10,000 Wedding really sort of got me going on this topic.

At my friend's wedding last summer, of which most of the helpers were theater folk, we kept joking about the wedding as if it were a production.
"Two hours to curtain!"
"So, which songs do you want for the pre-show music?"

And while we were joking about it, I think that it is a valid comparison. You have the cast: Bride & Groom, parents of the couple, officiant, attendants, MC etc. You have a Stage Manger: Wedding planner/Day of Coordinator (whether you pay someone or not, or if it is even the bride doing this, you have someone...) There is tech help: Ushers, sound guy, DJ, some times lighting help, and of course your costumers, make up artists, set builders/designers, props etc.

To follow the metaphor even further, when you are casting people for a show, or choosing your tech crew, you consider their talent for the position (do you love them/ like them, want them to stand up next to you or are the creative/talented/artistic/organized) but you also think about their professionalism. You would never hire someone in a vital position if you couldn't trust them to show up on time and do their job responsibly, to take direction from those in charge, and to work well with others. So why would you ask someone to work on your wedding if you can't trust them to do the same thing?

I have seen, in friends weddings, a situation where a bridesmaid was chosen because she was like a sister to the bride, even though the bride has a history with the girl of her being flaky and/or selfish as well as committing to things, and then dropping them later when it became 'too much'. She picked her because she loved her, and just hoped that the lack of professionalism wouldn't come into play. Sure enough, not long after the planning started in earnest, this girl was problematic, and causing stress for the bride. In the end, we were all scrambling to make up for the responsibilities that the bridesmaid hadn't done, the morning of the wedding. Retrospectively, the bride may have chosen to give this close friend a different role, where less was at stake, perhaps greeting guests, manning the guest book, helping to set up day of etc.

My point? Choose people to stand with you that you love and want to be with you on your wedding day, but also consider their level of professionalism, because if you wouldn't hire them to do the job, you shouldn't ask them to be part of your wedding party.

Bump in the Road

2009-01-19T12:39:00.000-08:00

Right off the bat I knew that one of the big challenges for planning this wedding was going to be my FH's expectations. He simply has no basis for knowing how much Stuff costs. For instance, his only experience with photographers is the guy who does photos for the theater company we work for (incidentally also our wedding photographer, who's amazing btw. Michael Brinkerhoff). Since he sort of got his start with our theater company many years ago, he continues to give us a dirt cheap rate for shooting our shows. FH didn't know this, he just knew how much we paid him per show and figured "A wedding is smaller then a play, so it will cost a little less then that right?" So when I showed him Michael's website where the bottom tier was just over $1000 he flipped. After explaining the situation to him, he understood that he had made assumptions without actually having any info, and now realizes that things cost more then he thought they would, however, he's still definitely wants to find the least expensive ways to do things, as do I. He's just a bit more optimistic about finding things for cheap, then I am.

With that background knowledge, here is our hiccup. We finally got in contact with the location we wanted, the Long Tom Grange. It's pretty, and woodsy, more or less just what we want. We were anticipating a very inexpensive price, about $200. And we were right, it's $200/day. However, for weddings (and I KNOW I shouldn't have said that it as a wedding) they make you rent it for three days. One day for the rehearsal, one for the ceremony, and then clean up the next day. To me, this is reasonable, and they even give you a $50 break, and charge $550 for the three days. I think this sounds great. FH, wants to see if we can find somewhere cheaper.
The Long Tom Grange

The other issue is alcohol. I know a girl who got married at this location and they had a kegger. So I figured it would be no problem, but when I asked about alcohol, the woman said no alcohol, except for a champagne etc. toast. So obviously my friend was a bit dishonest about what they did at their wedding... Now we aren't having a bar at all, open or cash, but we are planning on supplying two or three bottles of wine per table, enough for people to drink it with dinner. I told her this was out plan, and she seemed to think that that might be ok, but we're looking into different insurance options (insurance is the reason they don't allow alcohol). So with the potential added expense of extra insurance, FH really thinks we should keep looking. Whereas, though I am willing to keep looking (and by we keep looking, that really means I keep looking) I am also pretty satisfied with the options laid out.

One thing I was thinking about last night was that if we had our ceremony at like 2pm, and then served a wide variety of hors d'ourves (sp?) with a small amount of wine, and then, at 9pm had a party back at our house (we have a huge back yard and a July wedding) for our friends, where people could party more, and drink more heavily if they wanted. I really like the idea, although I also recognize the issues with it, like paying for a location that we aren't using to its fullest extent, travel/driving time from the first location(for the ceremony and reception) to our home (about thirty minutes away), as well as the logistics of throwing a party in two different locations, the second of which we would be supplying minimal amounts of food and drink.

So what do you guys think? Anyone find a venue that wasn't a private residence for less then $550? (There are a variety of reasons we can't use a private residence which I'm happy to outline if someone wants me to) How about running into issues with alcohol? Any experience with event insurance that covers alcohol consumption? How about after parties? Especially of the BYOB&F variety. Thanks for any advice, and kudos for making it through my whole narrative!

More progress on dress selection.

2009-01-06T17:37:00.000-08:00

I've decided to make my own. I can sew, I can sew pretty darn well if I do say so myself. All the dresses I like are expensive. Like $400 or $500, which I know isn't expensive in the wedding dress world, but it's a lot when we have an $8000 wedding budget and plan to feed 300 or more people dinner, and honeymoon in Europe. Plus wedding dresses are almost always the dreaded POLYESTER, which not only means it doesn't feel as nice, but it means that I can't dye the dress after my wedding.

I was at Joann's purchasing last minute accouterments for my Tudor gown (inspired by this portrait of Elizabeth I, only green) and I noticed that McCall's patterns were on sale for $1.99. I paged through them and lo and behold, they had a pattern nearly identical to the dress I liked so well (the orange one from my this post).

Evening Elegance
The key differences are that I will have shoulder straps, and a more scoop shaped neckline, instead of the sweetheart. I was so stoked. I proceeded to buy clearance linen/cotton blend and the rest of the materials I needed and I will make a mock up, I can't wait! Look for pictures in a few months, I have other projects to finish first!

What if...

2008-12-24T08:57:00.000-08:00

A couple of my bridesmaids and I went to David's bridal last Friday to try on wedding and bridesmaid dresses. I should mention however, that I don't plan on purchasing from DB if I can help it, and I already have my dress picked out, and I know where I am buying it from. But when else, besides during her engagement, does a woman get to try on huge expensive poufy dresses? I've always been a fan of dress up, (along with my cousin and Maid of Honor) so that's what this trip was to us, a giant white dress up session!

And I must say, going into it with that attitude, I was actually quite surprised with how good of service I received, how much freedom I was allowed, and how many dresses were actually something I'd consider, at least if I was having a different style of wedding. Two in particular would be very me if I were having an indoor formal wedding. I've heard about a lot of weddings in museums, so I wasn't bent set of an outdoor wedding, perhaps I'd get married at the UO's Jordan Schnitzer Museum of Art.

And I would wear this dress.

Or maybe I am feeling traditional and want to be married in a church, how about the First Christian Chruch in Eugene? Then I would wear this dress.

However, I'm not having either of those types of weddings, I am planning to get married at the Long Tom Grange (though I still have to book it).

We will be barefoot, and it will be beautiful and natural! I will wear this dress only in white or ivory, from Heart and Hands and it will be perfectly us.

WIC

2008-12-19T10:34:00.000-08:00

I try hard not to buy into the Wedding Industrial Complex. We are doing a lot of DIY stuff. I will more then likely not have a poufy princessy gown, but a simple pretty white dress. We are buying as much as we can locally and a focus on environmental impact and celebrating our commitment with our friends and family are our priorities.

But sometimes you get caught up in things. I WANT to loose 25 pounds before my wedding. I want things to match. We must have gorgeous center pieces. And of course when you think about it, those things don't actually matter. If the green on the invitations is different then the green on the bride's sash, no one will complain.

As a reminder to how ridiculous the American Bridal Culture can be, please enjoy.

Of course the scary part is that WETV is real.*shudder* I'm so glad I don't watch television.

Simplifying things

2008-12-06T18:13:00.000-08:00

This past week, Luke and I have made two decisions that are definite 'nos' for many brides. We've decided to forgo the official color palette, opting instead for a general "I like green" feel and just making choices that look good with what we already have. That means that the bridesmaids can choose more or less any dress they want that is not floor length (I don't want my bridesmaids having longer dresses then mine, and mine probably won't be floor length). And the gents can choose whatever color of vest they want, providing nothing clashes. Since the guys will be renting vests much closer to the date the the ladies will be purchasing dresses, we can make sure we don't have any awful color combos coming down the aisle together. The other thing this makes totally easier is choosing flowers. Instead of sticking to a color scheme for the flowers (which I plan to purchase at farmers markets and grocery stores day of, and rearrange myself), I can just buy some pretty flowers and call it good.

The other thing we have decided to leave out is guest favors. I have a small collection of bubble containers, mint tins etc. from a few friends' weddings. I've kept them because we're 'supposed' to, but I don't DO anything with them. Short of making edibles for guests, I can't come up with a favor that is useful, I like and won't break the bank. And edibles seem excessive because we're already hosting a dinner and desert. So it seems like an easy way to trim a few costs is to not do favors at all.

What do you guys think about cutting some traditional must haves like this? Do you think my guests will miss favors?

How would you like to earn extra income at home, in your free time?

2008-12-01T11:11:00.000-08:00

A pitch I've heard many times... There are hundreds, probably thousands of 'work from home' companies out there. Recently I've particularly come in contact with the home party/consultant type. I ran into Avon ladies at church growing up. My room mate's friend was a Mary Kay lady my sophomore year of college. I got roped into going to a party lite party by some girls at work. An old friend/mentor approached me about getting into the Arbonne business, and another friend invited me to her CAbi party. Recently I attended a SPA Girl party of another friend. The products are always superior, some times inexpensive, some times not. What is the draw of the party based sales? It all started with Tupperware. Which upon reading up on is quite an interesting tale. A man invented it, and couldn't sell it, until a woman names Brownie Wise came along and figured out that by throwing parties, women would buy it more! Article Here.

But Avon is an even older business. It was founded in 1886, also by a man. He was actually selling books, and gave perfume away as a gimmick. But women became more interested in the perfume then the books! So he switched his market...
Personally I've never really liked Avon too much. It's always seemed aimed at the suburbanite middle aged woman, with tacky jewelry and mediocre perfume. I've never found their products to be of very high quality. More of a door to door and catalog company, rather then party, it still falls into the genre I think.

Mary Kay has always seemed to me to be the primary competitor to Avon. A little more sophisticated, and little 'richer' perhaps. And we can't forget the pink Cadillac! They are a much newer company, started in 1968, and more controversial too, with accusations of Pyramid schemes, and conflicts with PETA and other animal rights groups.

Arbonne is a company I am a consultant for (or was, I haven't paid this year, being a consultant is more like paying discount fee...). Though my activity is strictly limited to myself and my close friends. When I was considering becoming a cosmetologist, I thought it would be a nice compliment for my salon, to offer a line of products. Especially one I could get behind. Arbonne is big about not doing any real advertising to speak of. Their business is spread exclusively through word of mouth. They also are very hypoallergenic (although some people on the interwebz review sites claim otherwise). And they don't do any animal testing or animal additives. The company was started (also by a man) in 1975, it's a Swiss company.

SPA Girl Parties is something I was just introduced too. They seem like a decent company, with decent products, though nothing terribly special. The party I went to was fun and included a mini-pedicure. But the woman running our party lacked confidence (I think she was pretty new to it) so it's hard to say how my impression could have been different from a different consultant.

Moving away from the cosmetic/skin care area Partylite is a candle company I've become a big fan of. Though their candles are paraffin, not soy (I prefer soy). The parties are always fun, and the candles are a decent price. It's the candle holders and other display things that are super pricey (and where the company makes is money I'm sure). At the last partylite party I went to the consultant was totally on me trying to convince me that I wanted to get into the business, she said my personality was perfect for it (much like Vicki, my friend who does Arbonne was saying, only trying to convince me to do Arbonne)

CAbi is clothing, really nice high end clothing. And damn, their are few ways to convince me to spend a lot of money better then at one of these parties. The clothes are amazing, the prices are big, but not quite so spendy as to be more then I can convince myself to spend. The parties are always fab, who doesn't love trying on a bunch of new clothes?

Passion Parties and other 'adult' themed parties sound really fun. I've never been to one so I can't say much more about it, but I think it would be an exciting thing to go to, though I don't know that I could host one myself. I don't know if my friends would come to something like that...

You're probably wondering what this has to do with a wedding? Skin care and cosmetics have plenty to do with weddings, I know people who have spent big bucks to make sure that their skin was clear and zit free for their wedding, in fact we might do something like that for my Mr. if we can find something that works. I've also heard suggestions of Passion parties, or the like as bachelorette parties. Not something I would choose but hey? How about using one of these venues as a way to earn extra money to save for said wedding? I don't think I'll have the time. Part of my reluctance to become a full fledged money making consultant is most of my friends are poorer then I am, they can't afford this stuff!

What other consultant/party based businesses are out there? What are your favorites? Any one planning on integrating something like this into their wedding planning?

Palette Decisions

2008-11-27T20:29:00.000-08:00

For some time now, before I even got engaged (one of the few things I'd thought about), I knew I wanted green as one of my wedding colors. A nice, dusty, sage green. Not Forrest or Kelly. However, choosing complementary tones to go with it has been more challenging then I originally anticipated.

I found a wonderful site, Colour Lovers, that allows you to use Hex code to create a pretty much infinite array of color combination. You can also source your palettes from photos or just about any image on the net, so if you really want the color of that flower in the photo, or the exact tone of the bay of that tropical island, it will match the tones more or less perfectly.

I had been playing with things, and not taking anything too terribly seriously, but now I am in the process of trying to make mock ups of invitations. Which means that I have to make a decision!!

Luke and I originally decided on the green, with pink and brown (and white/ivory of course) accents, for the simple reason that pink flowers are abundant and easy to find. But my dad, who is a very fashionable, artistic man with an eye for color, suggested we consider maroon or burgundy. So of course I went back to Colour Lovers and made yet another palette. So without further ado, here are a few of the things I've been looking at. Any opinions? Mix and match?

Color by COLOURlovers
This palette is based on the colors from David's Bridal's bridesmaids dresses.

Color by COLOURlovers
This is a little more intense with the pigment

Color by COLOURlovers
My first go using Maroon instead of pink. Though whoever 'created' this maroon called it tropical fuchsia.

Color by COLOURlovers
A second try, more of a Burgundy perhaps?

Which do you think looks best for a July wedding, amongst fir trees?
Coming soon, invitations and location news!

Jewelry

2008-11-20T20:49:00.000-08:00

As of yet I haven't thought to much about jewelry for the wedding. My friend Hillary, who works at a bead shop has offered to make jewelry for me at cost, and I hadn't thought more about it except that I think I want pearls.

I love my engagement ring.

Simple and a bit unusual. The stone is nearly flush in the setting.
We planned on getting bands, but I hadn't really thought about it until I came across this site. www.greenkarat.com

They provide ecologically and socially responsible jewelry using recycled metals, they are a Fair Trade company, are opposed to diamond mining and in general focus on business that is good for the whole world. So in addition to being an awesome company, they have these lovely, simple band, for only $200 (compared to the $800 bands we looked at when I got my engagement ring).

Definitely a good decision, economically and socially!

Flowers, alternatives?

2008-11-17T15:58:00.000-08:00

Wedding flowers totally kill me. I have the hardest time understanding why they are so expensive. I mean nearly $200 for a bridal bouquet? It is definitely an aspect that's price is inflated because of the societal insistence and emphasis on them. I've looked into alternatives a little bit. But alternatives either don't speak to me very much, or are just as expensive. Ribbon,Crochet,Glass,Buttons.

So I was pretty excited when I came across this idea over on Cup Of Joe. Buying supermarket bouquets, but then taking them apart and putting them back together in a more aesthetic and careful manner. I love it. Now I might opt for farmers market, rather then supermarket, but either way, I should be able to do all the flowers for less then $100!

I should have know the original article is from Real Simple, pretty much my new favorite magazine.

A wedding (and life) of our very own.

2008-11-17T15:49:00.000-08:00

I am one almost one month out from my engagement, and 621 days from our July 31, 2010 wedding. As the details come crashing down, and since the actual date is so far out, I need a place to organize my thoughts, without burdening all my friends with endless wedding blathering. So I created this blog in which to do it.

We're on a small budget, less the $10,000, though nothing is set in stone. We have a huge guest list (over 200 right now). We're DIY type of people, and since we have so much time to plan, we hope to do a lot of stuff ourselves. Well, here goes.